From Jamie Bowman
In his seminal book on the connection between
cricket and suicide, By His Own Hand, David
Frith catalogues with elegance and sensitivity the massive and profound
pressures the game exerts upon the individual during long hours at the crease
or wandering for days on end round the boundary rope with nothing to do but
chew over his last and most desperate failure.
I reckon there might be a second volume to be
written. This time he could concentrate on the connection between suicide and
waking up on a Saturday morning at 9.00am with a stinking hangover, last
night’s kebab solidifying in your stomach, with Robin Surtees on your poorly
receptive mobile phone telling you he now has only seven players and will have
to take the last of my eleven who isn’t a) crippled b) 12 years old or c) knows
how to hold a bat.
Such are the joys of life at the bottom of the
pile at Sefton Park Cricket Club. This was my first season as captain (indeed
it was the first season for the 5th XI) and no matter how many
horror stories I heard from previous incumbents (now mostly found shaking and
talking to themselves in Sefton’s car park) nothing could have prepared me for
the rollercoaster ride of emotions that was our debut 2008 season. Soaring
highs were inevitably coupled with plummeting lows but surely that is all part
and parcel of the game we love – in this speech I’ll attempt to describe a few
of them.
My expectations for this season were simple – I
did not want us to be an embarrassment. I hoped we’d compete and I was
determined that come what may we would a team out every week. Personally my aim
was simple: don’t fall over more times than you manage to take a wicket.
Our first game took place at the picturesque but
freezing Caldy. Within minutes of the toss I was running off the field blood
pouring from a cut above my eye. I would like to tell you that I had bravely
opened the batting and had been struck by vicious bouncer, but no I had dropped
a catch at mid on through my fingers and on to my face. The die was cast. Or
was it? After this early calamity we began to click into gear. Three wickets
from Mark Garnett saw Caldy’s middle order removed. I even hung on to a catch
and they declared for gettable 167.
By some quirk of fate we had managed to claim
Jay Harrison to open the batting. He proceeded to hit 2 sixes off the first
over and then went on to hit 7 more in an innings of 67. You do the math. An opening 50 partnership saw Jay on 46 and
Kev Walton on 2. It was truly one of the best displays of hitting I’d ever
seen. Thankfully after he got out there was more to come – Simon Gozzard hit an
unbeaten 48 including 3 sixes and there was a vital and impressive debut knock
of 23 from 13 year old Adam Flynn. We had won and all the way home there was excited
talk of promotion.
The next week was even more remarkable – Huyton
3rds were bowled out for 21 at the Commonwealth ground with some
remarkable bowling figures not least James Manley’s 3 for 5 and Stuart Lomas’s
3 for 3. With Caldy 4ths then conceding we were sitting pretty on top of the
league and the excitement was contagious.
A severe reality check was probably needed and
lo and behold we got one. Defeat followed by Southport Trinity (despite a
fantastic rearguard action which saw us only a few overs away from securing the
draw). The game against eventual title winners
Northop Hall saw us declare on 187 with a stunning debut innings from
Jay Shankar of 65 and a 4th wicket partnership of 80 between him and
a returning Steve Briggs. Sadly Northop hit the required runs losing only one
wicket.
The next game against Liverpool 3rds
produced the most remarkable game of the season. After Liverpool declared on
223 for 7 we felt we had little to no chance. A great opening stand of 67
between Adam Flynn and Steve Briggs saw us on our way with everyone’s favourite
grounds man swatting balls away to all corners. Just a few months previously
Briggsy had assured me his cricketing days were over. Indeed there were rumours
that Briggsy himself was almost over. Those of us who saw him pre season,
showing off his scar to all and sundry like some kind of roller driving Robert
Shaw in Jaws certainly feared the
worst. But on he went eventually succumbing to an amazing score of 105 – the
5ths only centurion to date. Sadly the rest (excluding Tom Robertson who hit a
lovely 33) could not be inspired. It was left to yours truly to spoil things by
being last man out with only 2 required. Still a remarkable game to be involved
in and it was a privilege to watch Mr Briggs.
A thrashing at Northern followed by their
excellent and friendly 4ths side with only a fine bowling performance from new
boy Paul Stairmand who took 3 for 31 worth mentioning. Perhaps more importantly
though this was the day that Adam Flynn discovered what ham was. Southport and
Birkdale also proved too strong when despite hanging on for 44 overs for only
74 runs we couldn’t quite hang on to the draw despite a great effort from Kev
Walton who almost carried his bat.
Thankfully the next week saw us finally back to winning
ways against Birchfield Park. From 43 for 6 Sefton reached 175 for 8 thanks to
a wonderful century partnership between Simon Gozzard and Jay Shanker. A
brilliant bowling performance saw every bowler take wickets and when Jordan
Kevan hung on to a brilliant caught and bowled with only a couple of overs left
it was one of the sweetest moments of the season.
Quite how we managed to lose to Northern 6ths
the next week is beyond me. Perhaps it was down to Northern fielding the
fattest player I have ever seen. Despite a valiant 47 not out from Ted Williams
this was perhaps the most dispiriting result of the season.
Games against Maghull and Northern 5ths were
both abandoned – both teams we may well have beaten. A great game at Ainsdale
follwed which again saw us unluckily defeated despite great performances from
Chris Mitchell and Tom Baird and a welcome and long overdue return to our very
own Dr Grace – Naj Ahmed.
Sadly we now on one of those runs that’s hard to
get out. At this point I decided to follow Michael Vaughn’s lead and have a
break from the captaincy – it was clearly affecting my game and it was time to
perfect my forward defensive on the notoriously slow sand pitches of Southern
Spain.
My absence was missed and we slumped to a ten
wicket defeat to the previously defeated Caldy 3s. My return in August
thankfully brought a turn around – a great game against Caldy 4ths
played in beautiful sunshine brought a tenacious and satisfying draw. Desperate
for players we had literally resorted to asking strangers in pubs the night
before but it was two of Sefton’s youngsters Matt Shore and Michael Boyes who
steadied our ship and a great 30 not out from Chris Mitchell saw us home. On a
personal level I had the Labour MP for Wirral West out LBW – something which
made up for the fact I was also out caught one handed at second slip by a 73
year old.
All of a sudden we had become draw specialists.
Southport and Birkdale were the next to suffer from our now famous rear guard
reputation. Under the captaincy of Paul Stairmand, a brilliant 50 not out from
Chris Mitchell saw us frustrate one of the better teams in the league and
remain unbeaten in August.
By now with the end of season in sight we had
problems off the pitch. Northop Hall and us arrived at our College pitch to
find Wavertree already playing on it. Little could be done to shift them and a
very annoyed Northop Hall returned home to complain to the league. We were not
to play on our ‘home’ pitch again and to be honest the experience has left me
wondering if we should next season. Definite food for thought.
And so homeless, battered and rather dispirited
we played our last three games away from home. Two of these were against
promotion chasing Northern 4ths and Northop Hall and so it was a big ask to get
anything out of them. The game against Northern saw us recover from 6 for 4 to
108 all out thanks entirely to a wonderful knock from Tom Robertson who scored
63. Tom was one of our heroes of the season. Opening the bowling every week he
never seemed to get one decision go his way. The fact he bowled 17 maidens out
of 77 overs bowled this season and took only 9 wickets shows just how unlucky
he was. Well done Tom!
The return match against Northop Hall saw us
take to the field for the first time with less than 11 men but the 9 we had
gave a creditable performance in scoring 112 against a fine bowling attack.
It was light relief then when we took on
Birchfield Park for what turned out to be our last game of the season. The home
team went from 40 for 0 to 49 all out in a barmy 30 mins that saw Robin Brown
take 5 for 5. It was wonderful to end with a win!
Conclusion:
The aim of this team was to give both kids and
30something stalwarts like me a good game and in that the new 5th
team has been a great success.
Youngsters
Adam Taylor, James Manley, Adam Flynn, Eddie
Parr, Sean McCrae – will all go on to play at a higher level.
Thank yous
Marilyn + Joe, Ted, Robin, James, Dave, Briggsy
and all the dads!